


Not your average day

by VioletSeaWitch



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, dating apps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26817787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletSeaWitch/pseuds/VioletSeaWitch
Summary: Perry signs up for an app and ends up meeting his nemesis over it. Can he balance his work life and personal life?
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Not your average day

“Uncle Perry! Do you want to test out our new invention?”

“Yes boys, one moment.” Perry responds. He’s typing away furiously, engrossed in the task at hand. Texting his new date.

‘So you live in Danville too? What’s your favorite spot?’ He asks.

The little dots take a while to turn into text, but it eventually does. ‘Danville diner, right next to the movie theater. Say, want to go there sometime?’

Perry smiled to himself. ‘Are you asking me out?’

‘Wellll...yes? That’s what asking out is. Dinner and movie.’

‘You are so right about that. That’s nice but I think I’d rather talk a bit first before a date.’

He walks outside, still texting and stands next to Candice, who is doing the same except with Jeremy. Buford points out how similar the two are and Isabella giggles.

“They’re so alike I can hardly tell the difference between the two!” Baljeet adds. Perry looks up and waves, instantly tripping on his shoelaces.

“Are you okay?!” Phineas asks. “That was quite the fall there..”

Perry nods, and pushes himself off of the ground. “Say kids, where is my phone?” 

“Ferb caught it. Are you liking that dating app we invented?”

“Wait what?” Perry does a double take. “Well no wonder I can’t see the guy’s face!”

“That’s right!” Phineas walks over to a sheet covering a stand. He yanks it off to reveal a phone that had the dating app. “We did some reading, and these platforms are the best way to meet people outside of work connections. Happy birthday Uncle! We made it for you.”

Perry blushes. His downloading of dating apps must have tipped the boys off. He left his ipad out on the kitchen table earlier. Of course it was a smash hit already by midday. Which of their adventures weren’t?

His watch started to beep and he sighed. “Boys, I’m being called into the office. Thanks for the app.”

The group waved as Perry went around to the other side of the Flynn-Fletcher household to the fireplace. He stepped in and dropped in his agency chair covered in soot. 

“Agent P! Congratulations on your 500th battle with Doof! Actually, this IS your 500th battle. Seems like he’s bought a bunch of cheese. I mean like lots of cheese. Loads of the stuff. Go check it out.” Monogram says.

Perry salutes and flies over to Evil Inc. with a backpack.

The moment his feet touch the floor, a trap wraps around his legs and half of a ball forms under his feet.

“Haha! You look like one of those stand up punching bags! I do not know the name for theme but sometimes they are shaped like a clown? Okay forget it, you’re trapped, that’s what’s important here.” Doof throws a punch for fun, knocking back Perry. The ball under his feet made him headbutt Doof as he came back around. 

“Ow! Okay, okay, backstory time first. Got it” He stumbles back, rubbing his head. “You see, I always hated the cheese convention that happens across the street. Do you have ANY idea of how many lacrosse intolerant people go to those things? The farts don’t stop for days so every time I leave my building I smell gas. Enough I say! Now that i’ve bought up every cheese order for the next month, they can’t have their little con. I’m using it to make this!” The unveils a broccoli shaped inator. “See, it runs on cheese! I give you the broccolinator! Now the con will have to buy my broccoli that this thing makes if they want to have any event!”

‘Now that’s a REAL stretch..’ Perry thought.’Doesn’t broccoli make people fart anyway?’ He always responds to Doof in his head, completely forgetting to speak. Those remarks about how quiet he was always either surprised him or went right over his head. Sometimes it was just easier to not verbally respond. 

“Anyway, meet your doom, Perry the Platypus!” 

Perry wiggles and catches one of the ropes in his teeth. He pulls it and then lets go, allowing it to have some slack. He jumps from the stand and punches Doof like he does every opening he gets. The other could really take it, and was not bad at fighting. Explaining bruises to the boys was tough, so he did his best to dodge. Doof punches him in the shoulder, sending him reeling back for a moment. He stumbles back and hooks his foot around Doof’s leg, tripping him. He rolls out of the way, giving him a chance to get up and pin his enemy. He handcuffs a complaining Doof as he busts the inator. Little does he know, this inator had lots of glass pieces that fell all around Doofenshmirtz. Sadly, he had already left.

\----  
Hours after, he gets a text from his future date. At least, the conversations for the past week have gone well enough for him to assume one was in the near future. He cocks an eyebrow when he looks at it though.

‘Can you come over to this address? I know this isn’t the best way to meet but I need help.”

Perry looks at the address and doesn’t recognize it. He chirps his mock platypus noise, which Candace throws a pillow at him for as she’s sleeping on the couch across from him. Being called a platypus made him try the noise out, and now he made the noise instead of talking at times. Usually when he was confused, he couldn't think of a response or a multitude of other reasons.

This address was in downtown Danville, he knew that much. He punches it into his gps and starts to drive. He gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as the building comes into view. Why did it have to be this building. He turns off his wrist communicator, not wanting to be tracked by the OWCA. 

He prepares the key Doof gave him, and walks up to the door. “Heinz! Where are you?” 

“Over here!!” A shrill voice calls back.

Perry steps into the room and drops his phone in horror as he sees a big gash on his nemesis’s leg. “Shit! What did you do?! Why did you text me and not 911?!”

“I ran out of cash for the month. Do you know how much the ride in the wee woo wagon costs, Perry the Platypus? Besides, how did you know to come back? Your timing is impeccable! Way faster than Norm, who left hours ago….”

“Did the inator cut your leg?”

“Yes, it did.” Heinz sighed. “You were too far after the explosion to hear I guess.”

Perry bit his lip. “This needs stitches.” 

He prepares for the procedure and then places Heinz on a table. “I was prepared for this, should I get strained without a medic.” He made the other bite on his own fist as Perry did the stitching. Perry promptly went to the bathroom to puke after. He despised the way the skin moved like fabric, despite being able to complete the task.

Heinz passed out as soon as it was done due to tiredness. His condition was alright, he was simply worn out from all of the yelling for help. Silly Doof, there were no neighbors to hear him. Perry wondered how long it took for him to get to his phone with his leg injured.

Perry comes out of the bathroom and carries Doof to his bedroom, sitting on the edge. It was at this time that he was glad Doof was not a biology based mad scientist. Wouldn’t want to run the risk of having some sort of virus tested on Perry while the agent slept.

Doof was supposed to be his date. How about that. Maybe this really was destiny. Perry sits down in a chair next to the bed and snoozes.


End file.
